We need some more action on this bloggy blog, so I'm gonna share a little secret I've been keeping for the last three and a half years... kinda. Because, well, I believe in being honest. (Ha ha!)

Shortly after we started trying I created a blog called, you guessed it, "Dear Sweet P." 

Here is the post I published the other day...

"It's funny going back and reading past posts and thinking that we would never have to do IVF. But now here we are, doing IVF and I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. I'm exhausted from being hopeful. I'm positive there is a reason for everything, I'm exhausted from being positive, but I'm happy yet numb... and I find myself just being.I guess I've just accepted this as part of my reality. Not scared, not excited. Just living. I worry I won't be excited when I find out I'm pregnant, if that were to happen. I worry to even get excited if I do get pregnant because I could always loose the baby. To be honest, having an actual baby that is mine just seems so far away and foreign to me - because it has been for so many years. I can't imagine feeling a little body moving inside of me, or going to the hospital as a family of two and leaving as three. But here we are. Closer than we've ever been, and farther than we ever thought we would've had to go. I could find out I'm expecting in less than a month.... and I just don't know how to feel."

Then last night, while scrolling through my Facebook feed, I saw this picture posted by one of my cousins. It was like a slap in the face. 

BOOM!

Anyway, I know I still am trying not to get my hopes up, but it's okay to be feeling this way and to be excited at the same time.

 I guess what I'm trying to say is there are so many things that could and can go wrong in this crazy thing we call life but there are also SOOOOOO many things that could and can go right!

Like this morning, I was about to walk out of the door and I heard Jacob SCREAM my name so I rushed back downstairs. He got an interview with his top choice school! How amazing would it be if he got in within the next month this whole applying to Medical School thing could be over with?

 So many blessings!!! Trust in Heavenly Father, he knows what he's doing. :)

Also, I'm 90% sure I'm going to be changing my major to accounting... WHO AM I!? 

my bits & pieces

It was really good to see you girls last weekend. It feels like an eternity ago... But I felt like writing (and reading) so I hopped on here.

Ok quick update: I'm not taking classes this summer, just reading and researching. Most of it I can work on from home, which is wonderful for me. I get super distracted at school and they keep the building so cold these days. I will be going to some research conferences later this month that should be cool. Travis is working full time at DOMO. He loves it. He had to get his appendix out this week so we couldn't go to Sun Valley with my family for the three day weekend which is a bummer but hooray for modern medicine right?? I keep thinking about how there was a time not too long ago (and still places in the world) where an appendicitis was a death sentence and I would have lost my husband this weekend. I cannot imagine that! It makes me so sad to think about and so grateful for this day and age we live in. And also grateful for a medical family who was able to see a weird display of symptoms and realize quick enough that a real medical emergency was going on. Luckily for us, it didn't rupture but they kept him overnight to look for infection and things. He is doing great!
And if anyone ever needs help being happy, just go buy a baby duck :) Best $8 you will ever spend!

Any good books? Movies? Things to do??

I recently read The Light Between The Ocean and I LOVED LOVED LOVED it! The movie is coming out this September so anyone who wants to read it and then go see it with me I would love that! I also loved Everyone Brave Is Forgiven. It's another WW2 book. I've been on a WW2 kick lately. I quite enjoyed the Cedar Cove series (the books and the show on netflix. But don't start watching if you can't handle a cliff hanger because they cancelled the show but ended on a huge cliff hanger...UGH). In the LDS author department, I just read Josi Killpack's A Heart Revealed and really liked it--it has a Pride and Prejudice feeling to it. Love and Gelato was a cute teenage love story and By The Stars was a true story, again a WW2 love story, but a really great LDS perspective! I also read The Girl On The Train because I couldn't help myself. It is a thriller! But no one read Who Do You Love because is it slutty and gross. I'm currently reading: The Bar Tender's Son, I Let You Go, Alexander Hamilton (The one Miranda Lin Manuel read that inspired the show, which I am still obsessed with), The Inn at Rose Harbor series (a branch off of Cedar Cove, I am on the second book), the third peculiar children book and The Summer Before The War. I just cannot get enough of reading these days!

Good movies? I haven't seen a ton of movies lately. With Travis recovering I thought we would watch a bunch of them but we haven't really. We watched Daddy's Home which was SO funny. And we watched Hail Ceasar! Which was interesting. I really liked it but I like those strange films. It's the same director as Oh Brother Where Art Thou which is a Cook Family favorite. I liked The Scorch Trials but it was so different than the book. And I was entertained by My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2. It definitely could have been more clever, like the first one. But it was still good.

TV shows. Again, I like the Cedar Cove series on netflix. It is just clean and cute and small townish. But we LOVE Better Off Ted!!!! Oh my goodness it is funny! And Ellen's wife (what is it, Portia?) is so interesting! Obviously I read more than I watch but I think that is a good thing.  

I just read Hailey's comments on my last post so I will add those books to the list (I love reading books written for younger audiences!!!) but if anyone else has any recommendations, I would love some! Books, movies, shows, restaurants, places to hike?!? I want them all!!

Happy 4th everyone! Be safe and have a great holiday!