Kochermaywagsblinsmellswainsenook Family

We need some more action on this bloggy blog, so I'm gonna share a little secret I've been keeping for the last three and a half years... kinda. Because, well, I believe in being honest. (Ha ha!)

Shortly after we started trying I created a blog called, you guessed it, "Dear Sweet P." 

Here is the post I published the other day...

"It's funny going back and reading past posts and thinking that we would never have to do IVF. But now here we are, doing IVF and I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. I'm exhausted from being hopeful. I'm positive there is a reason for everything, I'm exhausted from being positive, but I'm happy yet numb... and I find myself just being.I guess I've just accepted this as part of my reality. Not scared, not excited. Just living. I worry I won't be excited when I find out I'm pregnant, if that were to happen. I worry to even get excited if I do get pregnant because I could always loose the baby. To be honest, having an actual baby that is mine just seems so far away and foreign to me - because it has been for so many years. I can't imagine feeling a little body moving inside of me, or going to the hospital as a family of two and leaving as three. But here we are. Closer than we've ever been, and farther than we ever thought we would've had to go. I could find out I'm expecting in less than a month.... and I just don't know how to feel."

Then last night, while scrolling through my Facebook feed, I saw this picture posted by one of my cousins. It was like a slap in the face. 

BOOM!

Anyway, I know I still am trying not to get my hopes up, but it's okay to be feeling this way and to be excited at the same time.

 I guess what I'm trying to say is there are so many things that could and can go wrong in this crazy thing we call life but there are also SOOOOOO many things that could and can go right!

Like this morning, I was about to walk out of the door and I heard Jacob SCREAM my name so I rushed back downstairs. He got an interview with his top choice school! How amazing would it be if he got in within the next month this whole applying to Medical School thing could be over with?

 So many blessings!!! Trust in Heavenly Father, he knows what he's doing. :)

Also, I'm 90% sure I'm going to be changing my major to accounting... WHO AM I!?